When Despair Left Me


I can remember

when the sun never shined.

When the earth was stale

when I ought to have been blind.


Every movement

every turn of the head,

found the black of night

and the slumber left my bed.


I pretend to practice righteousness

but the world has taught me not.

Especially when I give thought to

the pain of times I have not forgot.


Not forgotten

was when the sun never shined.

And when I turned my head

the light my mind could not find.


The road turned me

back to this place,

from where I came I returned

into valleys staring me in the face.


I asked the sun

to show a path forgotten.

Yet no angels appeared

and within came something rotten.


Darkness led me to famine.

Life left me blind.

My ire became the sun yet suddenly

the dawn my eyes did find.


There was my nephew

newborn and bright-eyed.

As my sister put him in my hands

the darkness was cast aside.


New life, family

made my movements clear.

The black of night left me

and slumber for my soul appeared.


Innocence in insanity.

Order in disorder found.

Life can bind the hands.

Despair and you become bound.


Yet as the cold night consumes

and the earth steadfastly turns,

night will turn to day rebirthing

salvation to calm our burns.


For my nephew Gavin.