Your memory’s quite a companion.
With time they’ve turned phantom.
It is a treasonous thought I abandon
those feelings I felt I won’t feel them.
A decade passed since I was betrayed,
emotionally I almost found a grave.
My pulse runs rapid now I’m scathed.
Thinking things where I was enslaved.
I ponder whether I should feel it again.
That feeling rising from beneath skin.
Of how I’ve come to learn such a sin
could be felt by letting trust come in.
I question myself almost every time
when within tenderness my soul finds.
Feelings where sad and joy combine
to wither the pain of what is behind.
I don’t think and it is not your fault,
I’m just saying I should think not
back to the lessons to me you taught.
Because they burden I should stop.
Time has helped me to overcome
whether a foe or friend is the sum
of all the things I’ve said and done
rolling back drapes letting in sun.
The situation has led to a discovery;
the capacity to love’s not above me.
Do it again I might but not so lovely
will the release of my pain’s trust be.
I’m finding myself to be so unreal
and in my own time I don’t sit still
when I allow my heart just to feel
the rapid pulse that I now do reveal.