Ill Made Perceptions

It is important to note that I wrote this two years ago today. I have been lucky to overcome some obstacles but I have to remember where I was so that I remember to never go back to the dark place I was in.

****

The bottle it calls me by name

to blot out tribulation that mocks.

If obstacles come I turn askew

and seek favorite drinking spots.


It speaks and begs I let elixir

travel down and into my limbs

so that it might send me places

I could howl at the moon again.


Sing songs easier the bottle says

or seek you others in your pack.

Who offer noise to numb things;

so your’e blind to a heart so black.


I have faltered as do all who

have faced differing situations.

To fix the vice that grips me,

I must give my heart liberation.


I must address fear I don’t face,

I must search depths with evaluation.

It’s hard in the valley’s dark night,

from there come ill made perceptions.


I must cast out my animosity,

spite, jealously and toxic dreams.

Fortitude I should birth inside,

then pray as my tears they leave.


My adversary is found in wine or

when I drink down hops or tonics.

Their grip makes me nonsensical,

making my bed by morn a coffin.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. kristianw84 says:

    You’re right, you have to embrace that darkness that is still very much a part of you so that you don’t let it consume you. Addiction is a constant battle. I’m so proud of you for overcoming it, and for fighting. You say you’re not wise, but my dear, if you could only see yourself through my eyes you’d understand how wise you really are! I get that you’re human, that you don’t know all, that you still make stupid decisions, and will continue to do so. It happens, we’re all guilty, but you should give yourself more credit my friend! Beautifully written, and thank you for sharing your story, and baring your soul with us! I’m so glad we’ve connected, Jared!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. It was hard to post this but I’ve got to be honest with myself and others. I wasnt sure how this would go over but it is kind of liberating. Thank you Kristian.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kristianw84 says:

        Posts like this aren’t easy. While I can’t speak on addiction personally, I have written some hard posts, so I commend you for it. It is liberating! You’re so welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

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