Random Shit At Midnight Vol. 2

I was a smoker for many years. From 18 to 38 I smoked Camel Blue 99’s. Boy, they hit the spot. After a meal of ribeye steak and mash potatoes and gravy…man, a cig hit the spot.

Now don’t run away. Nicotine. That’s what I want to address at heart. I suffer from severe anxiety. Debilitating anxiety. Where the lows are a grave dug deep.

I had to get a grip. A cigarette did that for me. As well as a Brandy, but that is behind me now. All of it. This funny contraption is called a vape. Yes I’m one of those now.

Yet I haven’t had a smoke in almost two years. I sleep better and with the nicotine minus the carbon monoxide it helps me actually sleep better, eat better and smell better. Thus more confidant.

I hide it and I know it has its own stigma. I can deal with that. In my aged years I’ve come to not invest much in how others feel about me. I have to keep going. I have to move forward.

Nothing that you put in your lungs other than air is good for you. Yet I’m doing the lesser of two evils I feel. So damn me if you will. Or just be reasonable and understand it is my body and decision being a free man in a free country.

So this is my justification for it in the very least, but I vape. This is me and I’m not afraid to be me. This world is turning to ash friends.

Every planet created eventually dies. Sad words yes, but it is our right to perpetuate our lifestyles and habits as we see fit. As we need them to be for some semblance of satisfaction.

That in the very least…



2 Comments Add yours

  1. I am sorry to read about your anxiety. I have bad anxiety too and it’s not fun. *hugs* ❤️🖤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Dear, your charm is as usual uplifting. I am truly honored my fellow writer would think of me in such terms. ALL your kind words are well received my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

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